Someone asked the following question;
“What is the most effective way to relate with people? I feel that people who are arrogant or prideful seem to get on better than those who have a more humble disposition?”
God made life to work by principles and structures as most things do. When you breach the rules that guide these principles, either by act or omission, you will face the consequences. These principles from the scriptures teach that it is more rewarding to be humble than to be prideful or arrogant.
To be Prideful means to have an excessively high opinion of oneself and tend to place themselves above everyone else. It is being arrogant or overconfident in ones sense of self – worth. This usually occurs when someone feels they have worked really hard to get to where they are or personally pulled out all the stops to achieve what they have.
Being prideful or haughty is not the same as being confident. Though similar, confidence is having a healthy self – esteem. Whereas, arrogance is the flip side of the same coin, where confidence in ones self or ability has gone too far and has become very prideful. This could be destructive.
Pride goes before destruction. Proverbs 16:18
On the contrary, being humble means to be modest in ones actions and opinion of self. Biblically, being humble indicates a submissive attitude of understanding that there is a deity greater than yourself. So that no matter the level of success one has achieved, there is a sense of gratitude and awareness that God blessed your endeavour and helped you achieve success. This inner resolve creates a sense of inner humility.
Although a humble person may still feel a sense of pride for what they have achieved, It is usually tempered by the understanding that they could not have done it all by themselves. It is vital to note that being humble is not the same as having a negative mind-set such as low self- esteem or lack of self – confidence. Rather, it is the healthy and positive equivalence of this negative mindset.
One can be very confident, yet humble and not prideful. Being humble makes you more endearing and amiable. People find it easier to relate to you and this actually paves the way for your continuous progress.
By Humility and fear of God are riches, honour and life. Proverbs 22:4
Before honour is humility. Proverbs 15:33
Evidently, an attitude of humility pays huge dividends. However, in the current dispensation, where self promotion has become the order of the day, the attitude of pride and arrogance appear to be prevalent. As a result, more people embrace this pattern of behaviour because arrogant people sometimes appear to be doing well outwardly. On the other hand, people who are humble or kind are sometimes perceived as being weak or unassertive and therefore less impactful. This is far from the truth if you understand the true meaning of humility and its benefits.
Being humble is to possess an inner strength and quiet confidence in ones ability and successes, yet having the modesty not to be overbearing or bullish. In both cases (Prideful or Humble) it is the state of the heart that counts, because someone may have a boisterous personality and appear loud or arrogant although they are inwardly kind and caring. Just as someone who appears humble may be manipulative and inwardly wicked.
Overall, wisdom implies that one should strive to keep healthy balanced responses in dealing with different people and circumstances – keeping a positive heart is vital no matter ones disposition or personality.